Depression affects us all!
May 16, 2023 | By Matina Singh
Depression and the accumulation of negative thoughts for an extended period will hold you back and make you believe you have no power over your life. It always seems to happen at the most inconvenient times!
Why is that?
It is due to the suppression of many emotions and how we try to keep moving forward in life - even though we feel emotionally depleted. That defining moment when taking one more step can seem so difficult and impossible. Everyone experiences depression in their own way. Some might feel that depression is holding them back for a few days, weeks, or months. You just can’t seem to shake it!
Depression doesn’t happen to us to hold us back, but it happens to teach us something. To take a deeper look into our own lives, to become aware of what we are experiencing, and to find ways to work through our life circumstances. I know we are all so consumed with day-to-day life and long to make it work that we are willing to deny all warning signs. Denial is a protection mechanism!
When you feel that life is passing you by and that you are alone on the journey, everything becomes grim! Depression affects not only one area of life but ALL areas of life. We all go through life based on our lens and put on a mask to fit what WE believe the world needs to see from us. In this race of life, we lose a part of ourselves.
Negative life experiences and negative emotions can cloud our judgment and make us believe that we can’t do anything about our situation. Negative emotions aren’t there to break us down; they are there to teach us something - like inner warning bells. When we stop to hear these warning bells, reflect upon them, and shift our way of living from being reactive to being responsible, we create a new way of living!
I remember when I was going through my divorce experience; I couldn’t understand how I was still being able to function. I was putting on a perfect picture for the world, but internally, I was emotionally depleted. My inner being was screaming for attention, but I felt that if I did that, I would break down completely. I was tired of showing that everything was fine, of the fights, and of making myself understood. I can’t even recall the moment when I shifted from being a happy, jolly person to feeling overwhelmed, depressed, and feeling that I wasn’t enough. I couldn’t keep it up anymore! Leaving my marriage wasn’t easy, and I tried leaving before, but stayed. The third time was the charm for me. Completely heartbroken, I started from scratch and needed to make it work for my children and myself.
I never heard of the concept of self-care or self-love, taking the time to understand my emotions and walk through them to understand what they were trying to teach me! My emotions were screaming in my face, and still, I denied those feelings. I was so afraid that they would take over if I acknowledged those feelings.
The day that I did leave, something snapped in me. For the first time, I could grieve the ending of my marriage and the vision that I held onto of being a happy family. Then, about one and a half years in, I was still depressed! I was doing it all, but something in me wasn’t happy. This is not how I thought my life would have turned to be. I started acknowledging my emotions for the first time and understood why I was experiencing so much pain. See, I didn’t forgive myself for staying, for allowing the pain to go on for a long time, and for losing myself in the process. I had been in denial for so long that I hadn’t taken the time to process what had happened, even after leaving the situation. Often society doesn’t understand why someone stays in an unhealthy situation and how we keep telling ourselves that things will get better. What might seem so apparent to someone else can be entirely missed by the person in the situation due to denial.
I started breaking down my emotions and understanding what they were teaching me. I needed to forgive myself, have compassion and decide how I wanted to live moving forward. When I started defining my values and life vision, I felt I had control over my life again. Now, I am in the driver's seat and can create the life that I want. The shift was so profound, and my emotions don’t overpower me anymore; I work through them when they arise.
You might be experiencing anger, resentment, sadness or perhaps overwhelmed, no matter which emotion is present for you, take a moment to acknowledge it, understand what it is teaching you, and work through that emotion. This process might seem too easy or surreal, but it works!
Emotions are not our enemy, they are there to protect us and teach us. It’s OK if you feel that emotions are overpowering and/or if you feel that you have no control over them. I will be teaching my tools and strategies during the upcoming Emotional Spring Cleaning Webinar and invite you to join us. Together as a community, we will identify in which areas of life negative emotions are holding you back and then go over the strategies to release them. At the end of the webinar, you will feel empowered and one step closer to creating a life that you are hoping to live.
While each emotion is very personal, it doesn’t mean that you have to go through it alone. Join the community of people who are ready to let go of past negative emotions. Collectively, we will release emotions that don’t serve us anymore, so you can let go of the past and move forward with clarity and feeling refreshed!
Keep mastering your self-image so that your unique light can outshine the world!
With love and gratitude!
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