What is holding you back?
March 18, 2023 | By Matina Singh
Our actions and in-action tell a lot about us. Yet, we often don’t recognize our own patterns. We hide behind the reasons why we can or can’t do something.
I remember hiding behind so many ‘facts’ as to why I shouldn’t leave my marriage. One of these facts is that, as women, we have to make it work no matter what. I remember thinking I failed because I couldn’t make my marriage work. Not only had I failed myself, but also my children.
In the trap of this feeling, I stayed in my marriage longer than I should have. For me, the wake-up call was from my dear friend. She asked me, “What will happen to the kids if something happens to you?” Those words shook me to my core!
Hindsight, I was self-sabotaging myself! Through the book ‘Mountain is in you’ by Brianna Wiest, I learned that my self-image was difficult to adjust because of preexisting beliefs about myself. These beliefs were given to me by society, and I never had a reason to question them. I just followed along.
In the book, Brianna explains that self-sabotage is ultimately a product of low emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, interpret, and respond to your emotions in an enlightened and healthy way.
I know my emotions weren’t regulated at all during that time! I felt completely emotionally depleted. I had given so much of myself that I had lost a sense of self. I kept trying for my children's and society's sake because that is all I knew!
Even the most uncomfortable situation felt comfortable because I knew what to expect. I didn’t know who I was outside of my marriage or who I wanted to be…
On the other side, I have learned so much about myself; I know that stepping out of my marriage was the BEST choice I could have ever made. Was it easy? Hell no! Anyone who got divorced can tell you what type of an emotional rollercoaster it is. However, IF you choose to work on your own feelings, on your own perceptions, and healing, life is going to get better!
You will even experience days that you once thought were completely NOT possible!
Through my healing journey, and investment of thousands of dollars in programs, coaching, and masterminds, I am on the other end, stronger! I feel like standing on top of that mountain, building a ladder for anyone who wants to heal.
It is also possible for you to understand your self-sabotaging patterns and give the past a better meaning so that you can grow and be the best person for yourself! Self-image is the root, and until you mold it into the shape that you like, things won’t completely change.
If you want to learn more about how coaching can change your life, book your free discovery call with me!
Keep mastering your self-image so that your unique light can outshine the world!
With love and gratitude!
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